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Quarterlife Queer

A never ending story

I realize that if I wait until I am no longer afraid to act, write, speak, be, I’ll be sending messages on a Ouija board, cryptic complaints from the other side” Audre Lorde

I played office tag today. It made me wonder if it was worth the work. I’m not happy with the program, but I kinda chalked it up to making the transition from undergrad to graduate, from the south to the midwest, from an HBCU to a HWCU.

This transition was suppose to be easy. Moving back to my hometown. I love everything else about my life, but I hate my program. It’s impersonal and rigid. I don’t know what I expected from Public Policy students, but they all seem to have a stick up their asses. Classroom conversation is so uninteresting. No one has any original idea to contribute. The classes are dry.

Have you ever been sitting in a room, looked around you, and realize “I don’t belong here!” ? Thats how I felt the very first day of class last semester.

I want to learn about things that matter. I want to be in a program that encourages and expects students to change the world, to be worried about real issues instead of when the next test is.

I don’t know what to do. Should I stick it out, get the degree and then find what I really need? or Should I be like some of my high school friends that just left their programs to find happiness?

Am I still in this program because I am afraid of what will happen if I leave without a solid next step?


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